


Vividus Eisque

by VerityGrahams



Series: Ballycastle Bats - QLFC - Season 6 - Chaser 3 [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drabble, Gryffindor Common Room, Homework, Humor, Humour, One Shot, Other, The Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition, spells, troll doll
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-26 03:05:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14991410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VerityGrahams/pseuds/VerityGrahams
Summary: This is round 3 entry for Chaser 3 of Ballycastle Bats Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition:Hermione tries to prove to Harry and Ron that homework can be fun, insert belligerent Scottish Troll and hilarity is sure to ensue





	Vividus Eisque

Vividus Eisque

The common room was quiet for a change; the Christmas holidays had only just come to an end, and most students were focused on being out in the snow. Hermione had more interest in next year's Charms textbook. She had got it early; after all, you can never be too prepared. She sat in her favourite armchair, just close enough to the fire to be comfortable. On the table beside her was a pile of books she wanted to get through, and for some reason one of her stocking fillers, a troll doll, stood on top like a guardian for her portable library. She paused to make some notes on what looked to be a rather interesting and potentially fun spell.

Her brow furrowed as she focused on the notes in the text and she scribbled on the parchment. It was at this point that the portrait hole opened. The serene quiet was ruined as Ron and Harry barged through shouting and laughing.

"Oi, Hermione!" Ron shouted, "What homework could we possibly have? Lessons only start back up tomorrow."

"Some of us like to be prepared, Ronald!" she retorted haughtily.

"Some people need to take a break, Hermione," Harry butted in. "That isn't even one of our textbooks!" He accused.

"I know, I'm doing some studying for the O.W.L's. You two should start preparing, it will make next year much less stressful you know."

"You're studying for next year!" Ron exclaimed, "are you mental? You need to learn to have a laugh, Hermione!"

"You can have lots of fun with the right charm," she retorted.

"Oh yea, Hermione, I've never had as much fun as when I am doing my charms homework! Next, you will be telling me to spend time with Snape as a form of relaxation!" Harry snorted.

"Ha-ha!" She rolled her eyes, "though I am sure that if you paid attention in class, you would find the process of potion-making quite therapeutic."

"Yes, and Snape will one day adopt me as his own precious little boy!" Harry scoffed.

"Homework is never fun Hermione; it's just one of those things we have to deal with. You know, grin and bear it, right Harry?" Ron replied.

"Sometimes Ron, you're the smartest person I know!" Harry smiled at the indigent look on his other friends face.

"I can be fun! Homework can be fun! And I'm going to prove it!" she declared flicking through to a spell she thought would prove her point.

She read the preceding paragraph and practised the wand movement a few times. She made sure she understood the theory behind it before taking the troll from its place on the table and placed it on her lap, staring at it with complete focus.

The doll was only four or five inches tall. It had a mass of hot pink hair protruding from its bulbous head and huge bright blue eyes. The troll wore wizards robes; they were a gaudy red colour that clashed with its hair a bright pattern of stars covering them. Meanwhile, Ron and Harry just stood and watched, a smug expression on their faces.

Hermione sat up straight, her expression determined as she pointed her wand at the unsuspecting toy; "Vividus Eisque." she spoke both elegantly and purposefully.

The ugly little doll glowed for a moment, and then… nothing. It remained that way for a few long seconds. Hermione glared, willing the spell to do just as she had intended it.

"Well, that was a barrel of laughs, Hermione." Ron smiled and patted her on the back patronisingly. "To be honest, I'm just glad we've found a spell she can't do!"

No one noticed when the troll blinked a few times. Where they had once been bright but dead, now there was twinkle; there was life.

"I can't believe it didn't work! I did everything perfectly!" She turned right back to the book and scoured the page for something that she had missed.

"What is the spell supposed to do?" Harry asked as he and Ron looked over her shoulder at the thick volume.

"It's supposed to animate inanimate objects," she frowned.

"Wha' th' buck am ah wearin'!" Came an aggressive and husky male voice.

All three of them paused then slowly turned their heads to the 'not so inanimate' troll. The troll clambered to its feet pulling on the robes; he curled his lip in disgust.

"I think it worked…" Ron said slowly; his face was bemused, baffled even.

"Yea…" Harry spoke dazed, unable to peel his eyes from the small doll that was now pulling and tugging at the robes until he stood there, on Hermione's lap, naked.

He had a huge round belly with a plastic pink gem, the same shade as his hair, encrusted into his stomach. He planted his feet and put both hands on his hips staring at the three of them.

"Wha' ur ye lookin' at?" He demanded. "Ye ne'er seen a troll afair?"

"Yea, we fought one actually, he didn't look much like you though mate!" Ron replied.

"Who dae ye hink ye ar? Whit did trolls ever die tae ye? Ah iner he showed ye wha' fur!"

"Woah, he started it!" Ron shouted back.

"An' ah will finish it in a minute sonny!"

Harry burst out laughing, whereas Hermione sat transfixed.

"How can you be so crass?" She questioned bemused, "you're supposed to be sweet, you have pink hair for crying out loud!"

"Ye got a problem wi' ma' pink hair, lassie?"

The small troll began to square up to Hermione; his little fists were now balled up, and his face wore a sneer that could quite possibly rival even Snape's.

"Woah there, troll!" Ron picked him up by his hair.

"Ye pit me down ye wee ginger divet!" The doll swung his fists at Ron; he even began swinging his entire body in an effort to try and get closer, maybe land a kick.

"This guy is great" Ron smiled, "we should let him loose in Snape's lesson tomorrow!"

"No, Ron! That's dangerous, who knows what kind of accident he could cause," Hermione scolded.

"I'm with Hermione; it's not like the little bugger likes us, he'd turn us in!" Harry replied.

"This has too much potential; there must be some way to use it without getting into trouble?" Ron almost begged, the troll still swinging by its hair. Unnoticed by Ron, his hair was slipping a millimetre at a time as he used momentum to urge himself forwards.

"We could sneak him into the potion stores?" Harry suggested with a grin.

"Lock the door…" Ron's smile was malevolent.

"Let him do his little troll-y thing!"

"NO!" Hermione shouted, "You two need to stop being so irresponsible, and Harry, you should be focusing on the next task, not on pranking Professor Snape!"

"I have plenty of time to work on the third task!"

"Yea, Hermione, chill!" Ron clapped Harry on the back.

"You two are hopeless, don't you realise that Harry could die in this competition! What would Sirius say?" Hermione demanded. Ron and Harry looked at each other seriously. The troll had finally got free of Ron's grasp and fell to the floor, still unnoticed by the trio.

"Prank Snape!" they replied in unison.

"Idiots!" she scolded, "Viktor would never be so childish," she muttered.

Ron was about to make another retort, what with Krum being such a sore subject.

"Oi!" Came the strong Scottish tone of the now free troll.

"Well if Krum is so much more mature than us, why don't you go and spend time with him… the enemy!" Ron turned on her. "Like you said, Harry could die, likely at some dark curse that pollock knows!"

"Ron, Hermione? Can we not do this now?" Harry pleaded, not that it made any difference as a full on shouting match took place in the centre of the common room. The troll meanwhile was wandering around their feet, exploring.

"The entire point is international cooperation, taking down barriers, not reinforcing ridiculous prejudices, Ron! Krum would never hurt Harry!" Her face was flushed with anger. "I think I just might go find him; I could do with some stimulating conversation!" She cried.

"Yea, 'cause that what's Krum's after… conversation!" He retorted sarcastically.

Meanwhile, the Troll continued to shout, trying to get the attention of the three students. The troll began scaling the table, pulling himself up inch by inch. All the while Harry watched helplessly as his friends, who clearly liked each other, screamed hysterically. Harry just wished they would either get over each other or just couple up; this was just painfully annoying. Soon the troll was again atop of the table, standing on Hermione's elaborate notes.

"Pay attention tae me!" The belligerent troll shouted. When he did not get anywhere with that, he started to squat over the notes. "Mebbe this will gie yer attention," he cackled.

What the troll did next definitely had the desired effect. There was a loud noise, which stopped the argument abruptly. What they saw they could not explain! Hermione was mortified, horror-struck and completely flabbergasted. When Ron realised what the troll had done, all thoughts of Krum were completely obliterated. Harry laughed more than he had in a long while, his mind coming up with more and more ideas for pranks for Snape formed in his mind.

"He shat glitter on your homework, Hermione," Ron said in a dazed voice.

"Aye ah did, ye wee Jessie!"

The troll stood over the parchment; smeared with sparkly pink faeces.

"It doesn't smell that bad to be fair." Harry commented.

"Ay coorse it dornt reek, its bludy glitter!" He replied.

"You have a name Mr. Troll?" Harry asked, kneeling down face to face with the pink haired doll who was now smearing it's glittery defecate around the parchment.

"It's disgusting!" Hermione whimpered.

"But still kind of pretty," Ron commented.

"Aye, mah nam is Fergus." The troll seemed much calmer now, "what's yer nam laddie?"

"Harry," he smiled, "I have a proposition for you"

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Thanks for reading, let me know what you think
> 
> For this story I got 9.75/10 and 9 bonus points for my prompts. The only thing that was changed was the phrase 'charms text' the feedback stated this was a proper noun, however, I changed it to Charms textbook - I felt that this worked better.


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